Save My Relationship, Save My Health

By admin On November 4, 2010 Under Emotional

To Save My Relationship Is To Save My Life

Save My RelationshipIf I were to live forever, there is only one thing that I wouldn’t get bored with: my relationships.  Yet, for being my only true reason to live, I don’t treat them very well.  A relationship can be good or bad.  In my bad relationships I take and take and never give.  They make me sick and destroy my life.  In my good relationships I give and give, constantly replenishing my friend—a well of life springing up to health.

I am In Relationships, I Have No Choice

The very fact that I exist means I am in relationships.  I could not live without participating in three types of relationships, one with others, one with myself, and one with God.

It Is My Choice How My Relationships Will Be

Each of my relationships is an inward journey of learning how to love and how to give unconditionally.  It is not about blaming myself or others for failures.  There is only one thing I can change—myself.  All else is not within my control.  Others will live their lives as they will.  But how I will live my life, whether I will honor a relationship is up to me, not another.  Will I save my relationship?  It is up to me.  It is all about what kind of a man or woman I want to be.

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The most joyful relationships are reciprocal but even if I am the only one giving and they are painful or yearning, they are not bad if my heart is true.   The health of my relationships, good or bad, nourished or starved, depends on me.  A good relationship is my choice.  I can choose health or sickness.  I can live or I can die.

Save My RelationshipHow Will I Choose?

Will I choose to stay connected in my relationship no matter what?  Will I choose to let disappointment transform into resentment or will I deal with it?  Will I choose to retaliate when I am hurt or will I choose to look the source of the problem—even if it is in me?  Will I choose to run from a relationship in hard times or will I choose to respect the relationship by confronting the problems?  In short, will I face myself and my flaws so the relationship (and myself) can become better?  Will I save my relationship?

I Must Take Responsibility For My Own Life

When the relationship gets difficult it is time to stop blaming the other person and take responsibility by looking to myself.

My choice is powerful.  My thoughts determine my actions and emotions.  It doesn’t matter what others do to me or what circumstances I face each day, I determine my feelings by what I choose to think and how I choose to react to what happens to me.  I can choose my reaction and my reaction is based on my thoughts.

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it”  – Charles Swindoll

I can either work to make my relationship better or ignore it and allow it to cause me—and others—pain.  So I must choose wisely.  Will I save my relationship and my health?  The choice is between life and health.  It is the difference between a blessing and a curse.

Our Dog Is A Great Teacher Here, As Matt Laughlin Shows Us

Six Ways to Thrive In A Relationship

There are six points I took to heart long ago when I read Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends and Influence People.  There have been few who have better distilled the principles of being a good friend so well.  These simple points have been very helpful to me in nurturing my relationships.

1.      Become genuinely interested in other people. Put yourself out to make friends with other people, things that require time, energy, unselfishness, and thoughtfulness.   Greet people with animation and enthusiasm.  You will be welcome anywhere.

2.      Smile.  It makes a good impression.

Dale Carnegie3.      Remember names. A person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language.  People are extremely proud of their names and will go to enormous lengths to perpetuate them.  There is magic contained in a name and this is the single item that is wholly and completely owned by the person we are dealing with and nobody else.  Indeed, using the person’s name will work magic.

4.       Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.  Intent listening and thirst for what another has to say is alluring and charismatic.  To be interesting, be interested.  Ask questions the other person will enjoy answering.  Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves than they are in you or your problems.

5.      Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. This interests others and draws them to you like a magnet.

6.      Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.
“Talk to people about themselves, and they will listen for hours.”  -Disraeli
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  -Jesus

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